As part of my next steps, I mentioned I would update a new chapter of my story – collect thoughts and responses and then continue with my analysis.
Extract from my writing:
When I did all those google searches, I truly was trying to stay optimistic, it wasn’t a self-torture method in which I was aware that percentage was going to come up. I guess maybe I was trying to find an explanation to how it all just came to happen and what is meant to happen next. After all, one day you notice your loved one is unwell, the next you’re told it’s a tumour, the next it’s malign, the next it’s got a name, the next you are expected to accept this is reality and is here to stay.
Just like that. No guide, no manual, no explanatory video of what to do next.
Everything had changed the minute I heard my mum’s unwellness was cancer, but doing that search served as a confirmation of that reality. It’s like, I had been trying to process what I had been told, trying to perhaps lessen the effect of it by telling myself “it can’t be that bad, it’s my mum, she’s healthy, she’s always been healthy” or “hopefully, there is a cure, more options… like with other cancers”.
Feedback, responses:
Today, 23rd of August 2021, I posted one of my writings, an extract from a chapter I am yet to finish – but I wanted to involve comments of other carers who, like me, might understand the anxiety of searching up a loved one’s diagnosis online. What thoughts do they have on what I’ve said? Can they even relate? What advice is there to give? And so to my surprise, there have been some responses and most, I’ll be including in the continuation of the writing.
Disclaimer. Warnings. Making people aware. Hope. (key words from comments)
Some of the observation here so far are very interesting – there’s definitely relatability as well as searching for answers and finally, holding to hope and optimism. I love to see it. I will include this, with permission, as part of the continuation of my next reflection – even against the numbers, the percentage can still be your loved one – no battle has been lost.